hello savannah

What is real?

2010-08-01T13:09:00.000-04:00

First of all, let me say that I hate blogger's new templates. I wouldn't mind them as much if they left the old templates as choices, too. If I weren't so busy with other stuff, I would design my own. But I am busy with other stuff.

Like dancing all night.

And applying for jobs.

And cooking delicious food.

And listening to music while I pack up my apartment.

Life!

2010-07-31T11:33:00.000-04:00

So I haven't been posting here as much because I've been working on my other blog for school. The gist of things is that there is a 50/50 chance I am moving in less three weeks. The other 50 is that I moving soon after the three weeks, but I don't know when.

Why?

Because I have a second interview for a job on Friday that if I get, will change my schedule. This is a tid-bit stressful because of the logistics of training for said job, selling a car, renting a moving truck, leaving a job, packing, and oh yeah, I'm still in classes.

Do I want this job? Great question. There are as many pros as cons.

Luckily, the job/moving/school situation doesn't give me much time to focus on the romance situation. My ex called me and it was sad and hard. When my booty call calls me, it is awesome. Life!

New Blog Project

2010-06-27T09:42:00.003-04:00

So I have to start a blog for my "Writing for New Media" summer quarter class.

It's here: http://justgivemeajob.blogspot.com

I will be writing regularly here, as I will be graded on it. Check it out!

100 degrees

2010-06-11T13:28:00.002-04:00

It is 100 degrees today. I'm staying in. Cleaning my house. Working on web design. Then watching a movie.

My booty call offered to pick me up on my walk home last night. Then he told me I looked nice and dropped me off. What a gentlemen?

Life

2010-06-09T23:56:00.005-04:00

I drove my then-boyfriend to the airport only a few days more than one year ago. Saying goodbye knowing it was "that kind of goodbye" forging ahead as though things were casual because he didn't. I've only seen him twice in the past year. Once for two hours for a surprise lunch. He flew home unexpectedly the day before I drove to Savannah. Once on a long weekend seven months ago.

Three months ago I told him we couldn't talk anymore. I promised not to contact him because he told me to. Kind of an eff'ed up promise if you ask me. I think about him everyday. But I won't contact him. Se la vie.

Never say never

2010-06-04T16:26:00.002-04:00

Female empowerment through shopping.

Something I never thought I'd feel. Something about being single is starting to set in I think. I feel more "girly." It started with a pair of magenta fake ray bans about a year ago. Then the magenta phone sleeve. Then a pink tank top here and there. Pink post its.

But pink was not the color of the day today on my shopping trip with my friend Lee. It was actually mostly neutrals. It started at Barnes & Noble with a non-fat one pump no whip iced mocha. We zipped into the first store, one of Lee's favorites but I place I hardly shop. So it was to my great surprise that I walked out with four tops: two greyish t's with beading, and two tank tops, one professional, one more casual. Sparkly. I was pleased. Next to another store I shop at only occasionally...yet I left there with, drumroll please, two pairs of shorts.* They are dressy and I was told I could wear them with heels.** (Who does that? Not me. But maybe?)

I had originally came shopping for a sexy robe. So we priced them at one store then walked over to a department store to compare. Store one was better, but I spent the better part of 30 minutes shopping for sexy underwear at store two. Now, this does not mean I have "unsexy" underwear, I just generally don't purchase overtly sexy underwear. Well. I did. Then I bought the robe, which by the way, is Leopard print.

So I'm up to four tops, two pairs of SHORTS, 5 pairs of sexy underwear, and a short silk robe. Since I was with a savvy shoe shopper, I decided to *consider* looking at some simple black heels, which "every woman should own". I found them, but only after finding some super hot black strappy heels. So I got them both? What came over me?!

Now now, before anyone starts drawing conclusions, it is major sale time, and I didn't spend totally out of control. I finished off the day with a new Moleskine journal from Barnes & Noble. It feels totally weird to say this, but I feel empowered and really excited about getting new clothes that reflect a more put together, and dare I say sexy, look.

*Prior to this afternoon I owned no pairs of shorts and have not worn shorts after about age 14.

**Prior to this afternoon I owned one pair of heels that are maroon and that I basically never wear.

hello summer

2010-06-02T10:34:00.002-04:00

It's June 2. Hello summer! This summer is going to be great.

Yoga

Swimming

Beach

Espressos

Evening walks

Web Design

Thesis

Art Projects

Charleston

North Carolina

New York

And, Savannah, beautiful Savannah, for three more months.

5 days left

2010-05-21T16:22:00.002-04:00

5 days left in the quarter. Two group projects and a paper away. I got a bike today from a badass bike polo girl who is moving, and tonight I'm getting a tattoo. Life is good :)

B-bread

2010-05-15T21:33:00.002-04:00

Saturday night. I'm staying in in in. I went out last night and stayed up until 7 a.m. and had to nurse myself back to reality today with Pedialite, a Moe's burrito, and some serious naps. Tonight I'm making banana bread and some thai food to eat during the week. I can't believe I used to party like this a lot more, it's very tiring, mentally and physically. Whereas the past few months I've been singing the praises of being single, today I feel particularly not into it.

One reason is that I don't like being oogled and hit on by men. I don't like when people I don't know buy me drinks and try to talk to me. Another reason is that one of my best friends got engaged last night and asked me to be the maid of honor. This is exciting, but is the most glaring of reminders that I'm single. My booty call wants me to go to the clubs in Atlanta with him at the end of the month. How did I get myself in this? It's kind of unreal.

12 days until the end of the quarter, then three weeks off. Do I go to New York? Where is my life coach?

F school!

2010-05-12T20:32:00.002-04:00

I'm afraid I've reached the point where I can't separate school from my current identity. And that is lame.

Things keeping me afloat:

* Booty call is STILL happening. We are at two months people! It's still working, weirdly.

* The hope of getting a bike in the next two days.

* School ending in two weeks.

Two weeks sounds so short. But there is so, so much to do. F school!

Non-user friendly techno commentary on identity

2010-04-25T20:35:00.003-04:00

I came across this site when doing research for my contemporary art class: www.jodi.org

Jodi is a website that pioneered the rise of web art and the medium of exploring ourselves in an age of increasing technology. The website, Jodi.org, was created by Joan Heemskerk and Dirk Paesmans in the 1990's.

The two explore the art of randomized errors and failures in technology that we use and take for granted each day. By compromising browsers, programs, communications, etc, they produce meaningful works of art based on breaking down the relationship between a computer user and the technology which he or she depends on. This concept explores human identity in the digital age, suggesting that our sense of self is changing as we integrate more and more technology into our lives to assist us in a myriad of ways, and yet behind its simple and friendly interface, it is completely alien to the casual user.

"Ok."

2010-04-21T20:04:00.002-04:00

So, I retracted my "break-up" with my booty call. He responded with "Ok."

I have to say, after years and YEARS of monogamy, this is such an amazing/refreshing/awesome change. I didn't know it could be so simple! I call, he comes over. Who can say no to reliable, fun, safe, stress-free, sexy-time? NOT ME!

And let's be honest: we barley have anything in common, I'm too busy/not ready to be in a relationship. I love uncomplicated things - which works out great because I am really in the thick of things with school. It's intense, not to mention I'm trying to apply for two jobs a week on top of a full load of school/maintaining straight A's, my review for candidacy coming up, a part-time job, in addition to just normal stuff like paying bills and sleeping.

Lucky for me I'm going on a mini-vacay next weekend with some of my favorite homeslices. Life.

on to the next one

2010-04-14T21:59:00.001-04:00

Text message break-up

2010-04-14T16:27:00.004-04:00

So I just "broke up" with my booty call via text message. He responded with "cool."

This is funny to me.

Monday, funday

2010-04-12T10:48:00.003-04:00

One of the things I really miss about having good friends in the same city as me, is that I have no one to tell my inappropriate things to. For example, I am living the single life for the first time in a long time. And it is awesome most of the time. That's all I can say about that here!

In other news I returned my foster kittens yesterday and cleaned my house. I'm really going to have to focus the next two weeks to get my thesis proposal done and get a little ahead on homework so I can enjoy the mini-vacay I have planned with some friends from high school at the end of the month. My life feels so weird sometimes. My priorities are homework, my part time job is mindless, I spend most of my spare time thinking and reading, and I'm single. Strange magic.

Doesn't get much more summer night-like than Citizen Cope

2010-04-07T20:51:00.002-04:00

summer plans

2010-04-03T00:15:00.002-04:00

So I have three weeks between spring and summer quarter and I would like to travel for one week. My first choice is France, but flights are $700ish + hostels and travel and I can't really spend over $1000 for a vacay in grad school. Second choice was a road trip, but I'd have to rent a car and car rental places aren't big on you renting cars, driving them a long way, and then dropping them off to fly home. Then I thought about Costa Rica with Meghan, but it seems a little frivolous for someone about to be in major debt. Next idea is a Philly/NYC trip. A multi-city flight (SAV-LGA-PHL-SAV) is around $325. I'd probably spend about the same buying food/bus/fun. I can swing 700 total I think. Should I do this? Hmmmm.

MOCHA DAY FRIDAY

2010-04-01T23:18:00.002-04:00

Grocery list:

cat litter

beer

grapefruit juice

granola bars

Mall list:

"A Whole New Mind" (Barnes and Noble)

nose studs (Claires)

free unders (Victoria's Secret)

Library List:

return books

thesis research/checklist for the day

mantra phone conference

online class work

Other:

make dr's appointment

send thank you's

lecture @ 1 p.m.

MOCHA

goodbye sweater

2010-03-31T23:18:00.004-04:00

I lost one of my favorite sweaters today on my walk to a meeting. CLASSIC CASE OF KARMA YOU SAY? Karma for what you ask? I started off thinking it was retribution for recent sexual escapades, but the more I thought about it - I've decided it must be for something else. After 7 years of monogamy, I need a break from that gig and I don't think Karma is going to be mad at me.

In other news, I'm not spending money or using the computer on Tuesdays. I'm going to try and extend it to Tuesdays and Thursdays soon. A girl needs a break from time wasting/homework/consumption.

Simple

2010-03-28T23:03:00.003-04:00

It never really dawned on me that I could just stay here. This is quite an extraordinary concept. Sick of moving? Stay put. Worried about jobs? Get one at your school. Want to do yoga teacher training? Do it at the place you know. Tired of looking ahead and planning the next thing? Be present. Quite the concept I say, quite the concept.

Curse your branches

2010-03-27T10:23:00.002-04:00

So I have to come up with a thesis topic pretty much right now. My proposal is due in month along with a revised paper about copyright infringement. Five months to go, the hardest five. Perfect time to cut out all the slack in my life and streamline. At least this is what I chant to myself when I start to get sentimental.

The thesis train is leaving the station and the next train is "the move" and "the job" train. I would like to commit to where I'm moving next. I'm out of excuses not to. Thesis has started...I'm really and truly single now and don't have to worry about how what I do will affect another...and I have to job search. I guess if I want to be honest with myself, it's really between here (I guess), Chicago, and New York. I get nervous just typing that. I hate to commit and leave out all the flowery possibilities of other cities like New Orleans, Tucson, and Austin.

Speaking of flowery possibilities, I'm pretty close to getting a new tattoo.

Bazan

2010-03-26T12:12:00.002-04:00

David Bazan's voice captivates me. I like his solo stuff and I like his stuff with Pedro the Lion, a lot. His lyrics are thoughtful and his sound is bright and rustic. His obsession with "being bad" make all his albums sound like therapy sessions. I forgive him (no pun) for starting off on the religious side.

"I do" captures all of my fears about marriage

"Rapture" summarizes cheating sex

"Longest Winter" is the second greatest breakup song (after Smoking Popes - Pretty Pathetic)

"Cold beer and cigarettes," "Curse your branches," and "Arizona" are thoughtful. And I can harmonize with all them which is a major plus.

Easiest way to listen without buying is lala.com - but you only get to listen once!

A case of the Mondays

2010-03-22T23:57:00.002-04:00

I think there is no way to avoid how cliche this blog post is about to get.

Today was hard. I quit my internship via email which I hate to do, but it's really not working out. School started today, and it is going to be really stressful.

I also hit the final nail in the coffin of my last relationship. This was excruciating. I think I will feel good about this soon, but right now I just have to sit with the fact that I lost a very good friend, and that I only seem like a mean person to him. I know he doesn't think very highly of me, but I think highly of me, so it is what it is.

I talked on the phone with someone who I actually like quite a bit and I thought this would make me feel better, but it actually just made me feel rejected for no good reason. He has never liked me really, so I don't know why I bother. Not to mention he lives nowhere near me.

Additionally, I have given yet another all too anxious male the impression that I am interested in him, which I am most certainly not. Having a booty and being nice does not mean that I like you. It's just who I am. Tell that to someone who texts you 20 times for no reason. What is wrong with people.

The seemingly lone consolation is that I started hanging out with with a nice individual. Honestly, it is a booty call and we both desire it to be nothing more than that. This should make me feel...good? I guess it kind of does.

However, in my purest form, I am a serial monogamist and all this shit just depresses me. I just want to come home, make dinner with my lover, talk about my day and hang out. Instead I am alone, as I have been for the past 9 months, with my closest real support 100 miles away, hooking up with someone who has 75 pairs of sneakers, being hated by someone I loved, being pursued by someone I don't like, feeling rejected for no reason, and to top it all off...I have a lot of homework.

Yes, there are other good things going on in my life. I will write about those another time. Blahhhhh.

playing it cool

2010-03-20T16:56:00.003-04:00

I'm learning to "play it cool." I never play it cool. Actually, I think I played it cool once. It worked out really well!

Rules of playing it cool:

Don't "have talks" with people

Act cool

Don't worry about things

Let's see how long I can do it!

monday...

2010-03-15T12:04:00.001-04:00

yogurt, granola, paying bills, job hunting, coffee, art museum internship

Spring break 2010

2010-03-14T22:07:00.000-04:00

A phrase that I thought would be stricken from my vocabulary: spring break. Yet here I am, on it.

I openly admit that the best part about working full-time for two years after college is that I no longer had to spend free time thinking about homework. I do not joke when I say that not a day went by that I didn't smile to myself about that part of being out of college. I gladly sacrificed most of the binge drinking, study sessions, monotonous chatter about school and promise of a spring break to the full-time job gods.

But here I am, back into my old grind...two internships, a part-time job, and full-time school (((NERD-DOM)))). If I may take a moment to brag, I did receive straight A's again this quarter. But those A's have exhausted me and I am so thankful for spring break. I am an OCD student and I am tired!

My break started off on Thursday with a great visit from my parents. We ate, we drank, we did touristy things and we hung out. After they left this morning, I read a book for four hours, took a nap, went to yoga, and then watched a movie. Even though I still have a light schedule of interning and jobbing this week, I am so relieved to have a reprieve from school for the next 7 days.

Next quarter is going to be very hard. There is no way around it. In addition to the aforementioned tasks, I have to write a thesis proposal. I rearranged my schedule to make room for more yoga, art openings and lectures on Fridays, and time to do open studio at a local ceramics center.

But following all of that, I will get what may be my last "summer break." It will only last three weeks, but still not a day goes by that I do not look forward to it.

Exciting things

2010-03-11T15:50:00.002-05:00

1. I got a new camera today

2. I'm starting to consider moving to the US Virgin Islands

3. This quarter is over

4. I'm 25

Life is good :)

Checking in

2010-03-03T23:20:00.007-05:00

Grad school has reached a fever pitch. Seven days to go in the quarter. Whoever thought it was a good idea to have grad school should be on quarters was wrong.

I have a new skill to add to my resume from this hellish quarter:

"Fundraising and Development Consultant"

And I have the 100 page handbook I helped write to prove it, along with pictures from the board meeting presentation that was rocked hard.

As hard as the first half of grad school has been, I know that the second half is only going to be harder. Wow! What a crazy but true thought.

Three days until my birthday. I'm buying myself a new camera and making a commitment to myself to stay devoted to my yoga practice. I've had kind of a track record for underwhelming birthday celebrations the past 5 years, but I think this one is going to be good in a low key and fun way - which is just my style these days.

25 & Milanos

2010-02-27T22:48:00.003-05:00

For some reason I have needed to prepare for my 25th birthday more than any other. And by prepare I don't mean worry, I just mean get ready.

I have been doing this by putting more work into my apartment than I ever have before. I like it. I like living in it. It feels like me more than any apartment before has. I have been buying some nicer clothes, too. I think I justify this by telling myself that I will need nicer clothes for the nicer job I will have soon. I'm getting organized and spending more time reading and making art. But I've been setting all the gears in motion so that things will be rolling smoothly by the time my birthday comes.

My mom told me that by the time she was 25 she had a child and was in a deteriorating marriage. She said the she got "off track." I guess my catch phrase would be "by the time I was 25 I spent my life in transition." And that I considered "tracks too abstract." I was definitely crazy in love enough to consider getting married it at some point in almost all of my many relationships. Those would have deteriorated, too.

But here I am, one week to go. I am eating Milano cookies and about to watch "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" by myself, on a Saturday night.

P.S.

I wish this song had a real video, but it doesn't so here is the substitute. I like this song a lot.

Australia!

2010-02-25T00:43:00.001-05:00

Here is a beautiful picture of my friend, Marissa, who has been living in Australia for the past year and half. I miss you Marissa - I am living vicariously though you!

limas and wine

2010-02-22T23:29:00.003-05:00

I hate group work. I am astonished at how disorganized and inefficient some people are. This is the lima beans and wine talking.

Greg

2010-02-22T00:55:00.005-05:00

A friend of mine from college committed suicide last week. This my second friend in a year, though the first was probably accidental. I am profoundly saddened by what these two had in common - young, outgoing, fun-loving, creative, musical, kind, loved. I am happy that I knew them both, but so lost as to why this happened.

>>>>

2010-02-16T12:54:00.004-05:00

Got to start doing some weird stuff, soon. Feeling pretty graduate schooly. BORING>>>>>>>

I'm going to take Excepter's next hit, appropriately named KAL, as my inspiration>>>>>>>

California & Chicago

2010-02-14T15:53:00.003-05:00

The decision of the week is that I am going to apply for jobs in Chicago and California.

SCAD is opening a new campus in fall 2010 in a city in California that I going to keep a secret for now, as it hasn't been officially announced yet by the university. They will be hiring, and with a master's in arts administration from SCAD, I could actually get a job there starting right after my program ends in August. It's good timing. This is just the shot in the dark kind opportunity that keeps me appreciating all of the good things about Chicago but excited about something warm, coastal, and exciting.

Things are working themselves out!

Varying paths

2010-02-12T23:37:00.002-05:00

Do you ever feel like you are on a certain "track" or "path" in life? I'd like to say that I don't for some reason. Although I do think that at least sometimes, maybe more than I admit. Especially when it comes time to making bigger decisions. (Though sometimes deciding on an outfit seems like a big decision.) Then I start to think, maybe I should get on a path. Aren't smart people on paths? Or are they really the not smart boring path people?

Throughout my journey in grad school, I've been working through the more traditional queries of "what job do I want" and "where do I want to live." I've realized that I am very good at understanding what we are learning about and I am going to be a good at whatever job I get. I am so excited that I will work in the field of arts administration. I'm nearly at the half way point of school here, which means that both of these decisions must be made in no more than 6 months. How much money do I want to make? What kind of city would I be happy in?

I feel a pull in two directions. One path includes living in a city with a lot of anonymous job opportunities. An airport that goes lots of places cheaply. A city with a lot of art and music. Friends. A roommate in an apartment that is great. And a brutal winter. This choice is a little fancier and I think I would become a little more fancy. (which I don't like/do like?)

The other path leads somewhere warm and coastal, yet somehow not the two warm coastal cities I have already lived in? Or mysterious. A job. A more organic lifestyle. A place where I may not know many people at first. Again and again and again and again I choose a path like this. Maybe I should try out something different.

One thing I know is that where I go next I want to stay for a while. Is the smart choice supposed to be hard or easy?

little utopia

2010-02-09T23:43:00.001-05:00

I had one of those days where I loved the city I live in, what I'm doing, and how my life is. A little utopia.

Making my grocery list

2010-02-05T10:43:00.003-05:00

I have a busy weekend ahead. It's ironic to me now that I was complaining when school was off that I had nothing to do.

This weekend includes:

* work

* errands (grocery store, target)

* homework

* yoga

* super bowl get together

* thai food

* Kristin!

I guess it doesn't seem that bad when you look at like that. But what is throwing the wrench into things is my darn academic involvement. It has made a time bomb explode in my Saturday: I have been selected as an ambassador for the program I am in and will be meeting prospective students at a breakfast presentation tomorrow morning at a hotel for 3 hours. It starts at 8 am - which is a total drag for me. Then, as a founding member of an arts administration student organization, I must be present for an event that we planned for tomorrow at 11. There will be pizza there, so that's a plus. But then I have to rush to work and leave all my homework for Sunday...

In other news, Third Eye Blind came out with a new album in August. How did I miss this? The music is ok, although the one video I've seen is terrible. Here a song with no video. Enjoy your weekend!

gray hair = carpe diem

2010-01-31T13:03:00.004-05:00

A gray hair was found in my scalp this week. Actually, it was bright silver. I pulled it out and stared at it in my bathroom mirror. It was a little exciting. I also felt sentimental. That, along with some other recent happenings, has "jump-started" my motivation to focus on the exciting things in my life. I guess you could say I'm edging into the "carpe-diem zone." (fyi: I usually hate the phrase "carpe diem")

Old people always say things like "youth is wasted on the young" and that "young people think they are invincible." I did not care about these sayings until last year, when a friend my age died unexpectedly in the middle of last January. It had a profound effect on me for 3 or 4 months, then sort of fizzled away, though I still think about him frequently. I was recently told about a 30 year old who died during a yoga class that my friend was in just a few weeks ago. This was shocking, and shocking enough for me to feel compelled to start doing some things differently.

I started by looking at my last romantic relationship and what I realized is that I can go about that in an entirely new and different way - and I'm willing to try to. I give partial credit to yoga for this, because the more I learn about yoga, I find myself wanting to be more gentle towards other people and myself, especially friends and people that I love.

To take care of myself, I have committed to swimming several times a week and doing hot flow yoga. I actually enjoy these types of workouts much more than when I force myself to run in the cold weather. I created time and resources to do things like get a pedicure, get a massage (at a local massage school so it's on the cheap), and do more skin care at home. I'm finally starting to take care of my clothes by creating homes for them in my two tiny closets and dresser. This makes everyday more fun for me, because creating unique outfits to wear gives me a lot of happiness. It really helps when everything is clean, orderly, and ready to go. I bought myself $50 worth of paper and I'm working on collages. Art making makes me happy.

Regular people want to have positive things in their life, right? But I hadn't been making all the effort to do what I needed to do to rely on these things! It's crazy to me now that I have been going through my life the past year or so not doing the things that make me a sane person. Was I too busy? Did I not realize the foolishness of that?

I just feel like my scatter-brainedness has subsided and what I had is this new feeling of focus and newfound organization. I'm having to sort though and throw out a lot of literal and mind clutter to get to this new place, but I am able to. I realize this is long and rambling. I actually didn't intend to write about this at all today, I was going to write about what I'm doing this week and some new music I heard. I guess I will write about that another time. Long story short, gray hair = carpe diem.

Transatlantique

2010-01-28T21:44:00.004-05:00

First, let me start out by saying how much I love the song "Elephant Gun" and "Transatlantique" by Beirut. I have played both songs many times today, in between work, meetings, lectures and errands.

This week has been so busy - in a really tiring way. I feel like no matter how much I try to simplify, I still have so many things to do and odds and ends that keep popping up and needing my attention. There is an underlying current of course, which consists of pinning down my thesis. But every time I start to think about my thesis, it reminds me that I want to be done writing it by the fall, which is when I would also like to move. Naturally, my mind goes directly from thesis to moving - then from moving to getting a job. And since I can't commit to making moving and job decisions right now, I grow weary of it all.

Working part-time, interning, schooling full time and just normal life creates a lot of odds and ends and tasks to complete. Not to mention that even though I like living by myself 85% of the time, I am in the flip side of that right now and wish I had a roommate to straighten up or make me waffles or get beer or something. Alas. Even though I am really busy I'm still making time to read for fun. And next week, I'm getting a massage. It's all about balance...

wish list

2010-01-22T12:27:00.006-05:00

It's payday, so I will update my current wish list:

*bought the dress online 5 minutes ago

*maybe getting the bike next month

*feet image = pedicure

*on the verge of purchasing the SATC boxed set at all times

*this is an extremely nice gibson that I will never be able to afford

top ten

2010-01-21T23:48:00.002-05:00

top ten: ways I spend my free time (no order)

1. nbc.com watch instantly

2. reading books

3. reading magazines

4. netflix

5. going on walks & bike rides

6. working

7. schooling & interning

8. sleeping & eating

9. writing (pen pals, lists, etc.)

10. listening to music

16. hanging out with people

(((hanging with my cats and the internet go without saying)))

Dog Problems

2010-01-18T21:18:00.003-05:00

Amazon gave me an .mp3 credit so I got five songs from The Format. I am listening to them and eating pretzels. I should be doing homework I guess but I would classify my motivation as low.

I've been trying to date. One reason for my dating attempts is because I really miss my ex-boyfriend but do not think it is wise for us to converse because the conversations tend to lean in the "getting back together" direction. It is not reasonable to attempt that in this point in time. Reason number two is that I like to smooch. I also like foot rubs. These activities are more fun with a pre-boyfriend/boyfriend.

There are four men that are somewhat courting me and I am only marginally interested in one of them. I tried to hang out with one of them last night and that experience can only be described as "bizarro". I am not considering a repeat. I'm almost positive that if/when I attempt to hang out with any of the others it will be extremely awkward.

Why? Because I'm not actually that into them in a very exciting way. I am great at being awkward. I am also picky. I need to be challenged. I'm trying to "stay off the bench" and "keep my dating muscles fit", but dating is so not my thing. I'm not really attracted to a lot people either. What is up with that?

My new plan is to continue hanging out in coffee shops reading books. The new part is that I am going to stay in the coffee shops longer. This is my strategy. The outcome I am hoping for is for short conversations with nice dudes that happen by coincidence. Pretty solid plan, eh?

Hoping so. Not there is anything wrong with spending my time homeworking, working, interning, yogaing, coffeeshoping, and netflixing. But it sure would be nice to have man-friend come into the rotation every once and awhile.

Era of Calm

2010-01-14T22:05:00.005-05:00

January 14th, 2010, a day that will go down in the history of Katherine. It will surely be mentioned in my autobiography. Today is the day that I re-harnessed inner calm and complete confidence after a tug of war lasting some amount of time. The amount of time is indefinable, but is bigger than a bread box.

"It's the little things that matter the most." Isn't that what the old saying is?

Many little things accumulated today. I mailed in payment for some nagging bills with my favorite bright blue Hawaii stamps. I purchased groceries, including sriracha sauce, and lined them up in a very orderly fashion in the tiny kitchen cabinets that I have. I created a display for the small shelf above my stove, with many of my favorite kitchen things. I cleaned my apartment, did laundry, washed silverware (a task I dread). I ordered four cool books online. I also communicated with many people: four friends, two parents, a next door neighbor, co-workers, a small asian child who got socked in the nose in the shallow end, etc. (That last one was at work.)

I finalized my course selections for the rest of graduate school, which now appears to have a grande finale at the end of the summer -- though "fanfare to thesis" does not yet have it's performance date. I'm going to New York for one of my classes. I also feel considerably less confused about what will happen after grad school.

For once, I'm less worried about men. Though I don't want one in my life romantically right now, I went out last night and got lots of flirts from men, and even two free drinks. It reminded me that I'm not as rusty as I thought. 7 months is the longest I have been single in my adult life (7 years!) It's not so bad.

I guess there is a chance that this this day isn't sounding as exciting to you. But allow me to explain. I have this habit of comparing myself to myself. Maybe this is not good, but I think it's more useful than comparing myself to other people. "What was I doing this time last year?", "What am I doing now?", and "What will I be doing this time next year?" are questions that come to mind frequently. It's kind of a fun game to play with yourself. But this time last year, it was not a fun game. This time last year, I was very confused and dare I say not at my full potential. No need to elaborate on the starving relationship, career confusion, lack of creativity, uncertainty, etc. You were there, you remember the complaining. This time last year those questions of past, present, and future doings yielded discouraging answers. Today, it is a complete 180. I am happy with what is going on and even more happy about what is to come!

Does this sound contrived!? It's not! Which you probably wouldn't believe unless we talked in person, but I promise: it's just a great day. I'm loving where I am in my life right now. Tonight that means eating edamame and fake chicken with sriracha sauce, wearing cute jammers, and reading a book in bed with the cats.

It is the dawn of the Era of Calm, Kal-2010. (Pretty much the same as 2010 a.d.)

Oh yeah, school.

2010-01-09T13:22:00.008-05:00

Wow! I'm back in school. The second most bizarro thing about coming back to school after being out for over two years, is going for a quarter, then having 6 weeks off, then going back! The first most bizarro thing is the act of coming back to school at all. So, it's Saturday, and I have to go to the library to print things. And so forth.

I am going to be very busy this quarter. I am working 15-25 hours a week at the aquatic center, which I enjoy. In addition to getting to workout on the clock, we have daily in-services to practice cpr, first aid scenarios and water rescues, which keeps us all on our toes. Other than work, I'm doing two internships. One is at the Jepson Center for the Arts, which is part of the Telfair Musuem (easily the most well known museum in the city/region). I am working with the Education and Programming Department. It will be a nice change of pace for me because most of my museum experience has been with exhibition design and installation, curation, development and special events. I will also be working with the City of Savannah Office of Cultural Affairs. I'm not sure what I will be doing yet, but I am excited to be working in a department the develops and implements cultural policy for the community I live in.

On top of those activities, I am taking two classes, a writing class and a fundraising class. I attempted to create a perfect schedule by doing one of my classes online to create more time for other things. This attempt was foiled when the head of my department emailed me "jokingly" saying I would be on her "list" if I didn't drop the online class and take the class with her on campus. Yikes. So now I'm taking it on campus but am a little anxious because the entire class is a case study with an organization I have already worked with (and done a similar project with) in Charleston. I really don't like being "that girl" in class. I also didn't want to sit in class 5 hours a week and make trips to Charleston with my classmates all quarter. ALAS. The things we do to get on people's good sides...

Speaking of classmates, I have decided I like most of the people in my program only in small doses. At first I was concerned with that seeming mean, but I have concluded that it is not. By choosing not to spend a ton of time with people in my program, I have more time to work on things that excite me and develop new interests. I have been getting more involved with yoga and I'm integrating more music, reading, cooking and art making into my day-to-day. However, school has begun it's reign as my top priority.

The windy city

2010-01-06T18:37:00.004-05:00

So, as some as you may know, I am thinking about moving in the Fall. I think it has more to do with trying to find my place and my passion than being unhappy about where I am at. I love Savannah. I love being in grad school. This quarter I am interning two places and have a part time job at the aquatic center. Having a bit of income from that job is awesome, it allows me to punctuate more of my walks with stops in coffee shops, take more yoga classes, and buy yummy food. I spent the past 2 1/2 years, and especially the past 6 months a little on the lonely and uncertain side, but that has finally passed and I am confident in my decisions and happy to be on the path I am on.

The cities on the drawing board are Savannah (yes, I could stay here), Philly, and Chicago. Although this changes pretty frequently, these cities do seem to always resurface. Meghan sent me an amazing email about being her roommate in Chicago complete with checklist about why Chicago is awesome. It follows:

ü Having a small contingency of friends already living here.

ü Access to (world) renowned museums including the Art Institute, Museum of Contemporary Art, Planetarium, Aquarium and etc. As a bonus, many of the museums do fun social events monthly that include cocktail hours, jazz concerts, free admissions, new and exciting exhibits, lectures, etc. For example, the planetarium just added a new event that they do the 3^rd Thursday of every month where it is free admission after dark (5-9pm or so) and you can explore the museum, have drinks, food and all sorts of stuff. Pretty exciting if you ask me.

ü Live music galore. Living in a large city has its perks with all the bands that come visit. Not to mention the summer music festivals, all the live blues and jazz clubs, and all the smaller bars that offer live music 7 nights a week.

ü The ability to explore all the neighborhoods. One thing I’ve grown to love about Chicago is all the neighborhoods have a different feel to them, from the people to the shops and restaurants. I love that I can go to Wicker Park or Bucktown and there is a completely different crowd of people – very refreshing in my opinion and something I know you would like as well.

ü Access to the water. So what if it’s Lake Michigan? It’s still water. And a beach. And it’s actually very nice.

ü Running on the lakefront. Need I say more?

ü One of the largest Sport and Social clubs where you can sign-up to participate in any group sport, in every season. This includes beach volleyball, of which we will most certainly have a team.

ü PAWS. Volunteer…career? Your choice!

ü Not having a car, ie. Biking and walking everywhere. Or public transportation. All awesome.

ü Sporting events! I have grown to really love being able to go baseball games, basketball games and hockey games. Especially baseball games in the summer. Wrigley is the best.

ü The skyline. It’s magical.

2010 January Predictions from Susan Miller!!

2010-01-01T11:51:00.001-05:00

You are only days away from the moment Jupiter, the giver of gifts and luck, will enter Pisces and crown you the celestial favorite for 2010. Your year that lies ahead is unlike any you've seen lately and will have the power to transform your life into one you used to dream about. Jupiter will bring you better health, lots of opportunities to travel, even internationally, to make more money, and to rise in your career. Best of all, if single, the coming year could be your best for finding your one true love or for growing the love you have already found with your beloved.

Get yours, and don't miss the "continued button" for much more in depth info.

Single lady

2009-12-18T19:29:00.003-05:00

Sooo, I am wearing perfume. I am also going out. I am going to drink at least one nice beer followed by a pbr or two. I am a single lady, for real, for the first time in years!

Me brushing my shoulders off:

Decisions/Goals for the next 8 months ($/education)

2009-12-13T22:07:00.004-05:00

I'm going to finish my master's in one year and look for jobs in Chicago, Atlanta, and Austin. (Charleston, Philadelphia, Savannah)

I am going to have 2 of 2 credit cards paid off by July 2010.

I am going to have more than 100 dollars in my savings account.

I am going to have enough money in my checking account to pay for a potential move.

I may finance a short trip to Europe with Meghan.

I'd really like to go to New York...

Free time

2009-12-06T20:19:00.004-05:00

Because I have so much free time, I am organizing all the papers in my life that need organizing. I also made a 2010 budget AND made two excel spreadsheets with all of my login information for online accounts that I could think of: 27 sites and about 10 more for website related things. How on earth was I remembering all of those without these spreadsheets?! Luck!

The past two trips to the grocery store I have felt like a bona fide single white grad school aged female. Last time I got chocolate ice cream, cat food, and cat litter. This time I got tampons, fake chicken patties, and organic cookies. Nerd.

I've been racking my brain for some christmas present ideas for my sisters and I came up with a great one for Lala. I took some polaroids of her getting ready for her wedding and I'm going to put them into a little zine for her. My first zine! Now something creative for Anne...

I skyped with my parents today and here is the proof:

I start work tomorrow and I am thankful I will more things to do than organize papers and hang out around my apartment!! Although it has been fun.

2009-11-30T09:28:00.001-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZAKjKC7Gho

Winter is here

2009-11-29T20:29:00.001-05:00

1. cats and orchid

2. adding to my linda sharpless pottery collection, learn french in 10 minutes a day book

Almost Thanksgiving

2009-11-25T14:08:00.003-05:00

So it's almost Thanksgiving, and it's the first year I'm not going to my traditional home to celebrate. I'm disappointed because I always spend some time with my high school friends and I won't get to until Christmas, when many of them are busy with the fams. Instead I'm going to North Carolina, which will be very nice in it's own way. It is very beautiful there and a magic place.

School ended last Thursday and I was busy with other things until yesterday, when I finally started doing all that stuff I've been too busy to do: applying for internships, volunteer stuff, mailing bills, paperwork for my job at the aquatic center, organizing this quarter's files, writing letters, oil change/tire rotation, updating some projects I've been working on, reading, getting a project bound at staples, catching up on phone calls and emails, watching some netfilx, relaxing, cooking and cleaning. These things are a lot of fun when you have been waiting to do them for awhile.

I treated myself to some handmade soap from a store called nourish today, lilac for me and red clover as a gift for my aunt who I will see tomorrow. It is my reward for doing well in school, I got straight A's this quarter. I also got a peppermint mocha (2 pumps mint, 2 pumps choc, no whip) to fuel my afternoon of cleaning. Then I'm going to watch documentaries about walmart and food and lots of episodes of the office.

A perfectly nice Saturday night

2009-10-24T20:10:00.002-04:00

I am trying to reform my dietary choices. I don't want to be a vegan, but I do want to work towards it. I am doing my best not to eat any meat, local eggs only, no milk but still butter, cheese, and ben and jerry's ice cream. I am trying to start buying more vegan prepared items like cookies, crackers, and granola bars, but that is a slow transition.

I'm also trying to organize my house and live by the mantra "simplicity is the key to successful living". I have plenty, and I really shouldn't be buying very much. I need only access the things that I have and make good use of them. I think I did well with this concept today because I repurposed a coffee table that I have into a bar/high table. I turned it on it's side, and fit the top with custom cut wood from home depot covered with fabric. It looks nice and is much more functional this way! I guess you'd have to see the table, but my camera need batteries. It's basically a heavy perfectly square table that when turned on it's side, becomes a sturdy rectangle.

The newest car talk podcast just arrived so I need cut this blog entry short.

Front burner

2009-10-19T19:00:00.002-04:00

I've started making a list each day with tasks, opportunities, or goals that I have that are either on the "Front Burner" or the "Back Burner". This has really helped me prioritize my newly busy academic life. I've also started listing off three or more things I am grateful for before I go to sleep as well as doing some breathing exercises before drifting off, which I think has helped me sleep better.

On the front burner this week are some spiritual opportunities, for the first time. I decided to make yoga, unitarian universalist church service, and seeing "where the wild things are" priorities. First yoga class is tomorrow.

Also up for tomorrow, I am taking my two beautiful foster kittens back to the shelter to be spayed and neutered and put up for adoption. I will miss them!!

Context of adultness

2009-10-11T19:26:00.002-04:00

I'm putting some finishing touches on my apartment. A pear candle for the bathroom. Some interesting/awesome fabric to cover the seat cushions on the dining room chairs. The pantry is more or less stocked. All my school work has a binder or folder to live in and speaking of school work, I have a lot of it. When I'm not doing that, I'm at the coffee shop, running in the park, reading books, or drinking wine and watching movies, there is even a friend or two. It only took about 5 weeks to settle in. I feel like a grown up?

Saturday night in

2009-10-10T18:32:00.003-04:00

cheezy garlic bread from the frozen section

steamed spinach

roasted sweet potato with egg plant

(cooked with whole garlic cloves, brown sugar, olive oil, butter, salt/pepper, and pineapple juice)

a new shirt from forever 21

learn to speak italian in 10 minutes a day book

homework, sex in the city season 2

"Simplicity is the key to successful living."

2009-10-03T11:33:00.003-04:00

I'm realizing that I need to simplify things in my life. I think I'm trying to do too much at once. A good example is traveling that I'd like to do. I think a more realistic way to break it down is by season and by first and second choice.

Fall & Winter: Charleston, Spruce Pine

Winter & Spring: Houston, Chicago (?)

Summer: New Hampshire, New York

Other: France, Germany, Arizona, California

October

2009-10-02T00:12:00.002-04:00

Internet front and center

2009-10-01T23:58:00.003-04:00

I got internet at my house today which is great. Not to mention the immense pleasure I get in using the internet for fun, it makes doing work for school much easier.

Other things I got today:

tutorial in Turabian citation

six pack of leinenkugel sunset wheat beer

a package in the mail that contained posters

a poland spring lime water

"before sunset" from netflix

a red sketchbook for a project

I'm still adjusting to my life centering around school. I am learning things for class. I am reading things for fun. I am researching things related to what I am studying. Other than that I am working on art projects, running, reading for pleasure, volunteering, doing workshops, and applying for jobs. So this is what it feels like when your life is about YOU and not YOUR BOYFRIEND. Ouch! What a wake up call!

I've discovered that the graduate school version of myself likes coffee and tea a lot. But not regular coffee. And not mochas anymore because who can spend $20 a week on mochas (not me), but AMERICANOS. So good.

Tomorrow I am going to part 1 of 6 workshops about applying for teaching positions at colleges. I am interviewing another potential roommate, going to a meeting about volunteering at the film fest here, and doing some other various homework. Tomorrow night quite a few fun things are happening...fireworks on the river, a haunted pub crawl, a weekly drag show, and oktoberfest...will I attend any of these things? I haven't decided yet.

Week 2 top 10

2009-09-20T19:46:00.003-04:00

Updates:
1. My apartment is on the street and it is LOUD.
2. I applied for a life gaurding job and a cat tech job.
3. I need a roommate so I have extra dollars.
4. The breakup with my ex-boyfriend seems never-ending.
5. School is intense, but I know I will do well.
6. The beach here is wonderful.
7. I love Netflix.
8. The grad school version of myself seems to like espresso.
9. I eat an egg almost everyday, but the eggs come from the farmers market and they are good.
10. I want a dog now more than I ever have before!

A long Saturday

2009-09-12T23:24:00.004-04:00

Today was totally exhausting. I probably walked about 5 miles. I started by registering for orientation then sitting at Panera Bread chatting with a graphic design grad student. Then it was on to the convocation, then the grad school session, then just my department, then a picnic. THEN, because I stayed in last night with the intention of meeting someone today and trying this dive bar I saw tonight, I took myself to the bar for one pbr. Though I did meet some nice people, none of them fit the bill for exploring a dive. I brought a book and had one draft beer. Then took myself home. I starting reading shiz about my thesis and then became brain dead.

A strange thing happened. The shirt I wore to the bar smelled oh-so-lightly of cigarette smoke (you can smoke in bars in Georgia?) and my favorite perfume (which I haven't really worn in over a year). It took me back to some part, or perhaps many of the parts, of my relationship with John. I would wake up in whatever apartment he was living at, usually near the beach, a little hungover and tired from being up all night. Everything would smell like cigarette smoke, my hair, my skin, my clothes, the man sleeping next to me, mixed with my perfume. It was quite the indulgent relationship, drugs, cigarettes, alcohol, sex, food, basically doing whatever we wanted when we were together. It was a vibrant, and dangerous, time. The smell of smoke on my shirt reminded of that, in a nice nostalgic way. It reminded me that I was a wild child for awhile. Quite the contrast to the grad student taking herself to read in a bar on Saturday night. But that's ok. I hated that cigarette smell after awhile.

Orientation

2009-09-12T09:25:00.000-04:00

So today is the day: grad school orientation! The last orientation I had was for my job with the city. I got a binder, a lot of paperwork, and two hours in a conference room. Today sounds like more fun. There a lunch, various talks, and a picnic at the end. Is today the day I meet a new friend? The day I see another graduate student of something fascinating like fashion or architecture who is my future make out buddy?

Today is also the day I start seriously thinking about the $5000 dollar question. To get a roommate or not to get a roommate. I have had the luxury of not having to deal with that in two years, but it would save me a ton of money here (literally, $5000+ a year). They would have to be responsible with the cats, nice, clean, not a weirdo. I posted something on craigslist and already got one response. So we'll see...

I am going to start my day with some tea and walk through the farmer's market, then register for orientation, then come back and read for awhile before I go to the program. The library did have "Blink" and I'm on page 64.

The mail

2009-09-11T11:30:00.000-04:00

SO it's been determined that I need black out curtains and ear plugs, just as my mom suggested to me after the only night she stayed here. I could move my bedroom to a different room, but I'm not convinced that I want to do that. The room it is in now is big and I like that. It just happens to be on the busiest street in Georgia.

I also feel like I need a shower caddy and new flats.

I'm going to go to the coffee shop to do said dreamscaping and then walk to the public library to get my library card. I wonder if they have "Blink" by Malcolm Gladwell. I've been wanting to read that.

I got my first mail today, which proves that I live here now. An electricity set up bill, a letter, and an invoice for school. I also met mail mailman today. HELLO MAILMAN. He was quite attractive.

Here's hoping

2009-09-10T21:30:00.000-04:00

My hobbies from Bloomington don't translate well here, so I have taken on the task of reinventing them. Ballpark: swimming laps, surfing, volunteering at the art museum, intramural volleyball, running, yoga, guitar learning, public library, and pbr at a dive once a week. Also, fashion. Or just dressing better. People do that here, being a) southern and b) mostly art students. I started today by getting a chic shorter haircut and darker color. I almost spent $70 on vintage cowboy boots but I held back as I am still unemployed.

I'm starting to miss the, albeit small, group of friends I had in Bloomington. Nice guys who liked cheep beer, whiskey, going out and making music. Sometimes we'd spring for nicer beer or whiskey. These are the guys who have long distance girlfriends are can be available to you at all times, as friends.

Tomorrow at the coffee shop I will hatch my plan to start my hobbies here. I am also making a budget. Instead of calling it budgeting and planning I am going to call it "dreamscaping". How romantic. Tonight I will drink some $5 wine and watch a dvd. Not exactly romantic, but here's hoping that be this time next week I will have a new friend.

If you build it

2009-09-09T22:22:00.000-04:00

I found myself uncommonly giddy as I went about my errands leisurely today. After I walked through the historic district to obtain a parking sticker I stopped at an "urban gourmet" grocery and admired indigo patterned apron. I thought to myself how much I enjoy cooking and cookbooks as I drove to the beach by myself. On the way back home I sincerely appreciated the marshy landscape. Before sunset I shared a bench with a man eating a scone while I read book and people-watched. I made it a goal not to spend any money today, as moving has provided endless opportunities to do just that, and to splurge. I think the best way to describe the feeling I have is "in the right place at the right time".

I started my morning reading my astrology report, which once again, is right on:

If you build it, they will probably come. If you just pretend to build it, they may come anyway, and end up sticking around because of your charming attunement to life's deeper rhythms. If, as you build it or pretend to build it, you act manic or send out mixed messages, they may be intrigued and attracted, but they definitely won't come. So my advice, Pisces, is to suppress your mood swings as you at least start pretending to build the thing in earnest.

I am building it! "It" being my life here in Savannah, an existence true to myself. I spent a lot of time and energy the past two years in the last city I lived in not building it very well. Something got built, but I was certainly acting manic and sending out mixed messages at times. Thanks for the encouragement astrology report!

I'm on a roll and not going to stop anytime soon. On the agenda are some creative projects, more cooking, and reuniting with friends. I have the urge to travel, but I know that I should invest all my energy into what I am doing in the here and now of it all.

Hello, Blog!

2009-09-08T23:47:00.001-04:00

There is a fine line in between clever Facebook updates and what we "generation Y'ers" call TMI. Over the past few weeks I can sense that I am starting to cross over into the dark side. I do have a journal, a planner, a little notebook that I carry around in my purse for my daily inspirations and revelations - which I use. But I'm looking for a middle ground in the self expression of it all, something not too public and something not scattered over post-its and notebooks.

I've been feeling more compelled in the past few weeks to write. I think it has mostly to do with the fact that I just moved to a new city and broke up with my boyfriend of two years. I am open to a fresh start and I am feeling creative and inspired. I don't want to share all my revelations with other's mini feeds, and I know that I can spare my blog readers from the heavy relationship goo I find myself blabbing about in my journals. So I thought this blog would be a fun project.

Hello, blog, and Hello, Savannah, my new home.